THIS IS A BIO
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It's strange to call this a bio page, as though you actually want to know where I grew up or what school I went to or how old I was the first time I came in something other than my hand. Fifteen is the answer.
The basics: I'm a half-mick, half-jew (adoringly called a McJew) that's one hundred percent exhausted twenty-five percent of the time. I've lived most of my life with crippling depression and a social interaction deficiency the professionals call "Asperger's."
I don't drink except when I need to remember why I quit drinking, or otherwise when the cocaine insists. Sobriety and depression don't mix nearly as well as Jack and coke. Otherwise, I write. I talk to people about things I think are funny. Sometimes I do normal things like sleep and bathe and exercise. My hobby is buying hilarious domain names I'll probably never use--not dissimilar to how people treat gym memberships.
Also, I'm single.